I don't know what to think, or how to feel when it comes to certain things. I feel lost, even though I may have the bible right in front of me and and the best worship music on all I want to do is cry. I don't cry very often, but lately.. I just can't help it. God is so good and he does provide, and I trust in him full well and 100% but why is it that I feel like something is missing?
I have the best youth leaders that I could ask for, and I thank God for all the amazing people he has recently placed in my life and the people that have been brought back into my life. I should feel ecstatic, but I still feel empty. I no longer have depression, or anxiety and I thank God for that so much and give him all the glory for everything I do, so why is it that even though he is so good to me, I feel so... so alone? lost.. confused.. scared?
I don't want to be like this, but it seems like that is the only state my mind works best in . I prefer to be alone then with a bunch of people, and all I want to do is sleep the day away. I am so blessed and loved not only by God but by my family as well, and by some other people.. but it just doesn't feel like it. I hate this feeling! Grrr! Greater is he who is in me! I just need to keep speaking scriptures like that and 'For God hath not created the spirit of fear, but of power, and of LOVE, and of a sound mind.'
Yes, God is so good! I just need to keep reminding myself that and of all the blessings he has given me. At least everything, and I mean just about EVERYTHING is going for the better. Even though some people may not agree with my decisions, I know in my heart(or so i hope) that they are the right ones for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment